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I Bid You Adieu . . .

“There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.” Jose N. Harris

Since my surgery two weeks ago I have had ample self-reflection time. I have also had more than enough silence surrounding me in my house because I can’t go anywhere or do anything. My silence screams! My silence can be deafening. The self-reflection has shown me where I have my own shortcomings. I have been able to look back at texts, in particular, to see where and if I had some fault in the heartbreaking outcomes of specific relationships. I have tried to apologize for my part and the ball is left in their court now. I am leaving it up to them to realize their part. We often assume the wrong thing because we don’t communicate about what we are actually feeling. I have failed in this. This has been shown to me directly involving my surgery. There are other relationships I have apologized multiple times for my part and yet the other parties remain selfish and unchanged. Good news for me is I can begin to let that go now but they will have to answer for their negativity. And yet one more relationship that has been on the forefront of my mind for weeks now. Some people don’t realize that even through texts they are still doing the very thing I asked them not to do. With all that I have been through, especially in the last few years, I am an easy target. They don’t want to look at their own shit and instead always focus on mine. Now that they have shown their true character I can begin to walk away from that drama as well and begin to heal.

As far as bidding adieu to my social media – you know as I have written here before . . . I was afraid not to write as much because I thought I would lose readers. Then I became afraid of shutting down social media because how else would people know I have written a blogpost unless I put it out there on Facebook or Instagram. The first was hard enough to overcome but I chose to be present in my life and not worry about putting the pressure on myself to “keep up”. However, staying on social media has proven to be more damaging to me than helpful in numerous ways. We are all looking for that “like” on Facebook. Or that comment that affirms we are “good enough”. We crave positive attention from others. Why? Because it feels good. Who doesn’t want to feel good? I know I do. But when we don’t get what we want from others it can turn into self-hatred. Strong word, huh? You may be thinking right now – ‘Not me’ but ask yourself – If no one acknowledged you or liked you or assured you of just how great you are . . . how would you feel? I am not putting down social media or the people who love it. Please, hear that. I am also not saying that maybe one day I will visit it again. I am saying to some it is very damaging, to others it can be fairly painful and to all it can leave us wondering sometimes – ‘Am I good enough?’

I am still learning and I do believe it will be a lifelong journey for me, that the only One I can depend on is The Lord. And maybe you don’t believe in Him. That is none of my business. I will tell you though if you look to anyone else to make you feel good about yourself you will drown. You may again say ‘Not me’ but it will come . . . sooner or later. So, work on loving yourself and trusting yourself now. You have been given a gift or maybe multiple gifts by being you. I am realizing my gifts aren’t obvious like others. I wasn’t born to BE something like a doctor or landscaper. I was born to do things that can’t always be seen only felt. I was born to love. I love others with a passion that is both a gift and a curse. I give all I have to my relationships with people. This oftentimes leaves me hurt and vulnerable. Therefore, I am learning to love the people who treat me right and pray for those who don’t. I crave openness and realness. It was drilled into me my entire life by my own Daddy, the man of God, the Preacher . . . “What will the church people think? What will others think?” Ironic because that is NOT what The Lord says at all! I am having to retrain my brain after 43 YEARS of damage. My hope for you is no matter if you are older or younger than 43 that you will stop the madness NOW! Just this morning I decided I am going to make a list of all the good . . . things about myself. Then I will make copies and place them in different places, even on my phone, to remind me I AM GOOD ENOUGH! I don’t need a list of the negative things. Those are branded into my brain and are readily available even when I don’t ask for them.

So, for today here is the good . . . I am good enough. My list will be great! Take a look at yourself and clean up the things you need to, apologize for your damage, forgive yourself and go love yourself, Sugar! Much Peace and Love, Y’all! Namaste P.S. I will continue to write here on my blog and vlog on our YouTube channel – Crazy Harts Club. You can reach me here and there. You can also subscribe to both of them for free. Have a unicorn spewing glitter kind of weekend!

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How do you love yourself?

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing people who don’t love you either.” Mandy Hale

As you know I’m on quite the journey. A most basic definition of journey is – passage or progress from one stage to another. I’m sure as hell passing through and as y’all know I love to say I am putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes, especially lately, I feel like it’s’ rather slow though. Kinda like a slug on a hot, summer day that is melted to the concrete. Eww gross! That’s a visual! The second part of that definition mentions progress. I have to ask myself . . . Am I progressing? Or am I going backwards and into some dark places? Of course, I don’t hide it and yes, I acknowledge it – I’m in a very vulnerable place. Difficult to admit but an even harder place to be in. I feel like there are numerous question marks hovering above my head that everyone can see as I walk around. So many “what if(s)” make it even more difficult to live in the moment but I still try.

So, for today here is the good . . . along with a question for all my readers Worldwide . . . I am strong. You are strong. We are stronger than we think. Trust me on that one and it’s okay for someone to remind you of that on days you just can’t seem to believe it. And remember I’m here to hold your hand and walk through this with you. And now the question . . . What do you say to yourself or what do you do to love yourself? I need help from all my Look for the good . . . peeps for tips on self-love. You can comment below or message me any number of ways – privately or publicly – on Instagram @lookforthegoodinc or @janewithahart or on Facebook on my Look for the good page (look for our special logo). I have to give a special shout out to @thejourney_world for this Instagram quote post which is a quote from one of my recent faves #mandyhale. Much Peace and Love Y’all!

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Heavenly Light

Good afternoon my wonderful Look for the good . . . family and friends! Many thanks to all of you for checking in whenever your time allows. I am doing my best to pass on even just a sliver of positivity as much as I can. I was going for daily on Instagram/Facebook but as my life would have it . . . I get interrupted or my ADHD yells “Jane, come here!” from another room. I take off in a hurry to see what the panic is all about and by the time I get there I have already forgotten who called me or I got distracted and stopped somewhere else along the way. #daysinthelifeofJane

Also, just in the last few days there have been some major changes at The Crazy Harts Club. However, those details will come in later blog posts as my little heart allows. For today, here is the good . . . no matter how much darkness is surrounding you, always look for the light. Even if it is a tiny, pinhole bit of light, search for it. It’s there you just have to look for it. If you are blind and someone is reading this to you then listen for the light. You might ask – how in the world can I listen for something you are to see? The light doesn’t always have to be seen. It can be felt in an uplifting presence. It can be heard in a loved one’s voice or simply a bird singing. The light can come in something as big as a gift or as small, yet powerful, as a hug.

Please follow @lookforthegoodinc on Instagram for quick positivity! Share this blog post, share my Instagram and Facebook with ALL the people you know and everyone you come in contact with – even if you aren’t on Instagram and/or Facebook. The Instagram posts will also be on our Facebook page – Look for the good. We can all use some good . . . EVERYDAY! Much Peace and Love Y’all!

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Where can I find quick, daily positivity???

Good morning World,
I hope this post finds you well. However, whether things are great, not so great or anywhere in between I am sending this message out to ​pass on positivity​. It’s what we are all about! Please follow ​@lookforthegoodinc​ on Instagram for daily positivity! I also ask that you will share this with anyone and everyone you com​e in​ contact with even if you may not be on Instagram. The Instagram posts will also be on our Facebook page Look for the good  so you can also follow there. We can all use some good . . . ​​EVERYDAY!​ Much Peace and Love Y’all!
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Positive Purposeful Post

Every day may not be good . . . but there is something good in every day.

I want to try something with YOU, my readers. I know I am the one who writes something and have promised that at the end of every post I will show you the good . . . Well even though I could find something I need you to help me see some good today. Here’s why . . .

This morning we woke Grayson up from a dead sleep and immediately she started putting both hands in her mouth. It’s kinda like a baby sucking their thumb for comfort. She has done this her entire life. However, she chews on her fingers, they can become raw, and she soaks her bibs and cute shirts with spit! Ick! So, we have what we call arm braces that don’t allow her arms to bend up to her mouth. It may sound bad but it isn’t torturous. Y’all know me. Grayson is a wee bit spoiled! Grayson obviously doesn’t like it though. Before we could even get her clothes on we had to start with the arm braces. She yelled all the way through me brushing her hair, getting her breakfast ready, feeding her, brushing her teeth and giving her morning meds. She continued to yell as I was wrestling NOW 3 dogs, picking up random poop I found underneath the Christmas tree as an early present, wiping up dog drool on the floor from where they watch her eat, and trying to have them all “do their business” outside before I took her to school. This is my every morning. I feel like by the time 7:30 a.m. gets here I have already run a marathon.

She yelled all the way to school and all I wanted to do was listen to Christmas music on 98.9 or be able to hear Hawk and Tom on B93.7 but nooooo she screamed as loud as possible. When she got to school, they said she went to sleep. I contemplated drinking wine with my Cheerios this morning or maybe even soaking my Cheerios in red wine instead of almond milk. But we all know if I had done that I would eat even more cereal than normal and wouldn’t be able to drive her to school and we all know mama needs a break! As soon as I got back home to our driveway I received a call from Grayson’s school that she had a red face and a fever. Of course, I went to get her. So much for quiet time. When I got her back home, she woke up, I checked her temp twice and nothing. NO FEVER! Who knows what that was? I checked it later and still below normal. So, even though I am sure I could give you some good . . . I ask will you comment below or on Facebook or Instagram #lookforthegoodinc YOUR good for today please? Share with me what your good is in your life for today and I will put your name in a drawing for a FREE PRODUCT! Much Peace and Love Y’all! I can’t wait to read them! Inspire me!!!

tired-jane

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How to start your own website

Wait! What? I have already done that. I am typing on it at this very moment. You would think since I have my very own website with my very own business with my very own products that I am a guru right? Guru meaning “leader in a particular field” not the Hindu or Nanak definition. (Now you have to go Google that) You would think this would all be easy. After all, if you click on “My Story” you will see why I am doing this and how much I love it. But NO! I am a 40-year-old technology deficient communicator. How did I get caught in this trap? There are plenty of people my age who are proficient in technology – even plenty well over my age. Then you have the millennials. They were birthed with iPhones in their hands taking selfies. Or so it seems. So what happened to me? Who knows but I, as you should know by now, am a fighter and survivor. I will take this Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest world and post like it’s 2099 instead of 1999 (RIP Prince). I will GoDaddy, WordPress, PlugIn, and Affiliate myself with the world wide web. At the top of my screen right now are about ten tabs open for me to read and learn about these things. I can do it! I will do it! I just feel like a ping pong ball at the Summer Olympic Games due to my possible ADHD. Stay tuned people if you want to learn right alongside me. For today here is the good . . . I have GoDaddy on Live Chat to help me so Peace and Love Y’all!

sanity