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Last week I had Grayson pull a positive saying out of our very own LFTG jar and this week I asked Kloie to. She reached in and when she pulled it out, she just laughed, pointed at me and said “YOU!” I took it from her, read it and agreed “AMEN! Yep, that’s me.” Then I turned around in the kitchen and read it out loud to Grayson and our nurse, Grace. Here it is . . .
“I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”
Well, if that isn’t me, I don’t know what is – trying to please everyone. And nope, I’m not trying to be some sort of saint here because believe me this isn’t good for anyone! This is NOT being a winner. Most of my life I have been trying to please others in every way possible. So much so it has almost cost me my life. I am very slowly learning to put myself first – like at a snail’s pace. But not just any ol’ snail. This one has a camper on it’s back that is attached to a Ford F-450 with a family of five and two dogs packed in it with a couple of bikes racked on the back all while pulling a 4-wheeler. That’s a lot! Now you get why I’m so slow???
I think part of it is my anxiety in wondering “what will other people think?” which is what I heard so much growing up . . . “What will the church people think?” That was a standard comment from my daddy since he is a retired Southern Baptist preacher. That explains a lot doesn’t it? Ha, ha, ha. Guess what? I don’t care what “the church people” think and I’m learning that more people are out there in this world hurting rather than not because they are SO WORRIED about what other people think. I am nowhere near not caring at all about what some people have in their mind about me, but I have put a stop to the madness! I will not let it steal my life anymore. Have you thought about that? Have you thought that you are precisely letting someone, or multiple humans STEAL your life? Are you so frightened or uptight that it is making you sick? Maybe you don’t realize the hold other people have on you. Do you feel selfish when you take care of yourself? I used to about everything and now it is becoming less over time. But it takes daily practice. If I told you one day it could actually in real life physically KILL you? Would you keep doing it? Would you keep putting everyone else first? Maybe you aren’t even on your own list of priorities! I wasn’t and it will weigh you down until you break. You think it won’t happen to you. I thought the same thing. I have been through more than most people and thought I was so obviously strong enough to handle anything. Not true at all! It can and will happen to anyone! It’s a cruel joke so stop all the absurdity NOW!
For today, here is the good . . . you really can be yourself and those that love you the way you are just so happen to be the people you want to surround yourself with. If you are not causing any harm to anyone or anything, just trying to live your life and someone still brings you negativity then cut them out! And if you can’t completely do that then please distance yourself from them. They don’t care if you are damaged from it because they will move on and continue living. I urge you to live your life and if you have the courage then I wish for you the FREEDOM to LIVE OUT LOUD! I am now being blessed over and over because I choose to love myself now. I implore you to do the same. I’m always here if you need a little encouragement or reassurance. You’ve got this and so do I! Much Peace and Love Y’all! Namaste
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens.” Mandy Hale
Y’all KNOW this is challenging for me. I am organized. I am a planner. I run 100 miles an hour with my ADHD. And trust . . . ha, ha TRUST has become an ugly word to me. I am taking steps (remember the last blog post) to break this thought process of not trusting. Forty-two years and most of that has been without trust so it will definitely take a while. I suppose I do have time to see what happens.
Remember I told you I was going to take you on a journey with me and I have no idea where it is going or what it is going to look like. Well, that truth still remains. For the moment it is less of a roller coaster and more of a Jeep ride with no doors on a winding, mountain road. I have been praying more recently than I have in a while. I became reckless after “figuratively” collapsing under all the weight on my shoulders. I say to myself and out loud every day “Thank you, Lord, for saving me! You saved me!” and He really did. You have no idea! I also remind you and myself to let us stop judging each other and instead support each other. ‘Ya know that’s not always easy to do especially if we don’t agree with the topic at hand. However, if we truly love those we say we do then we support them as they ask and need. I continue to ask that of you for me and my family.
For today, here is the good . . . I am strong. You are strong. We are stronger than we think. Even if you are a planner and your personality tends to be more like mine . . . I am telling you to breathe. I am telling you to try and find trust. I am telling you to let go and yes, see what happens. I encourage you to find those people in your life who will positively support you wherever you are in your journey and I hope you will do that for them as well. Much Peace and Love Y’all!
Onward with my and YOUR journey to PEACE and HAPPINESS . . .
Ahh, February – the month of love. However, I want love year ‘round. All kinds of love! Today I am going to express my gratefulness to my tribe, my people, my girl gang. I want to take time to shout out to them how much I love them, appreciate them and need them. The next several posts are going to address each one of them individually. I refer to them in the acknowledgements of my first book as “my little circle of girlfriends who are strong, fierce, and aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty in this thing we call life.” Each one of them is different from the other and even from me but I share a common thread with them as well. Each is strong and fierce and doing something to make this world a better place. Don’t get me wrong I have other friends who are wonderful, but this blog post is just about MY CIRCLE. For today, here is the good . . . I don’t consider it luck but instead a blessing to have these 5 ladies be such an important part of my life. Cheers to you (in alphabetical order of last names because you are all equally important to me) DB, AG, BO, LP, SP! I ask you Look for the good . . . family and friends – who are your people? Who makes you laugh until you snort? Who let’s you cry on them with your snotty nose and salty tears? Who listens to your same freakin’ story so many times it can be exhausting yet they let you continue to do it? Who are you blessed with? Be sure to let them know how awesome they are ASAP. Much Peace and Love Y’all!
Good afternoon my wonderful Look for the good . . . family and friends! Many thanks to all of you for checking in whenever your time allows. I am doing my best to pass on even just a sliver of positivity as much as I can. I was going for daily on Instagram/Facebook but as my life would have it . . . I get interrupted or my ADHD yells “Jane, come here!” from another room. I take off in a hurry to see what the panic is all about and by the time I get there I have already forgotten who called me or I got distracted and stopped somewhere else along the way. #daysinthelifeofJane
Also, just in the last few days there have been some major changes at The Crazy Harts Club. However, those details will come in later blog posts as my little heart allows. For today, here is the good . . . no matter how much darkness is surrounding you, always look for the light. Even if it is a tiny, pinhole bit of light, search for it. It’s there you just have to look for it. If you are blind and someone is reading this to you then listen for the light. You might ask – how in the world can I listen for something you are to see? The light doesn’t always have to be seen. It can be felt in an uplifting presence. It can be heard in a loved one’s voice or simply a bird singing. The light can come in something as big as a gift or as small, yet powerful, as a hug.
Please follow @lookforthegoodinc on Instagram for quick positivity! Share this blog post, share my Instagram and Facebook with ALL the people you know and everyone you come in contact with – even if you aren’t on Instagram and/or Facebook. The Instagram posts will also be on our Facebook page – Look for the good. We can all use some good . . . EVERYDAY! Much Peace and Love Y’all!
Does a gift always have to be material? Do you always have to be able to see or touch it?
Today is my daddy’s 83rd birthday. I pushed to get my book finished so I could have a material gift to give him for his birthday. I wanted him to be able to see what I have accomplished despite the many difficulties I have experienced (some completely my own fault). I wanted him to be able to touch and read and ponder over the words I put together to create this story. I met with him last Thursday for a birthday celebration lunch and surprised him.
For today, here is the good . . . I received a much greater gift than pages with words on them. I received the gift of time. You can’t see it or touch it – only experience it. Two years ago, an angelic voice urged me to write My Summer with Jimmy & Nan Dee. My daddy, also known as Jimmy, and I spent countless hours together. I learned about family history, the history of Greenville, South Carolina and had an unexpected visitor show me what is truly important in life. For all of this I will be forever grateful. I don’t know how much time I have left with him. We never know with anyone. Time can be a gift. What gifts can you give or have you received that are not made of materials? Think about it . . . Happy 83rd Birthday, Daddy! Much Peace and Love Y’all!
“Everyone you meet has something to teach you.”
Do they? Do you believe that? I honestly do believe that. However, it does not mean it is always what you want to learn and it may not be good but there is something to be acquired from every experience.
For example, with our kitchen renovation I have continuously learned that if you do not communicate well, it is not going to be a positive encounter with me. Oh, why must my big mouth with little fear of making justice happen always be tested?
Which of course brings me to people with special needs. If you know me, even in the slightest, either personally or by reading my blog, you know this is my passion and reason for being. Again, who knew a God-given talent would present itself through a dynamic personality and not being afraid to speak up?
So, for today here is the good . . . each non-verbal, differently abled, human being I am blessed enough to be in the presence of has gifted me with an opening of my heart and mind. Have you ever tried to talk to someone who is non-verbal? Maybe you are scared and that’s okay. You don’t know what to say because you don’t know how much they can actually understand. Or what if it feels awkward because they don’t verbally speak back to you. Who cares? I say this ALL THE TIME – If my entire life I treated my own daughter, Grayson, like a real human being (because she is one) and she understood very little to nothing then what have I really lost? NOTHING! But what if I never talked to her like a real person? What if I sat her in the corner or off to the side and ignored her – even ignored her a little because she can’t speak like me? What if all her life she has been stuck in that body that doesn’t work the way she wants and nobody thinks she is “in there”? How would that feel? What have I lost then? EVERYTHING! I have lost the privilege of taking care of a gift The Great Lord, Himself, has given to me! He chose ME! He chose my husband, KEVIN. He chose our other daughter, KLOIE, to be her sister. He chose the JOHNSON and the HART families to be Grayson’s family. What are we doing with the gift we were given from God? What are you doing with what you have been given? Do you treat people with special needs like they are less? Do you treat them as if they don’t exist at all or hardly at all? Do you treat them like they don’t matter as much because they can’t do what we do, talk like we talk, or look like we do? I compel you to see that “EVERYONE YOU MEET HAS SOMETHING TO TEACH YOU”. Much Peace and Love Y’all!