I hardly know where to begin. For those of you who are used to my writing or that know me personally realize that once I get going it can be challenging at times to stay with me. My thoughts are many. My words are superfluous. And my spirit is animated. However, it’s always entertaining and something beautiful is always set free. So, speaking of FREEDOM . . .
I just got home from the hospital last night after having emergency surgery Monday night. I had a serious complication from my hysterectomy surgery that was 10 weeks ago. It is not typical for this to happen that far out from surgery, but the doctor said I was one of the “unlucky” ones. I will spare you the gory details but if I had waited any longer, I may not be here today.
(With a lack of better verbiage) for a very long time now – I have been weighed down, fatigued and overloaded with negativity but somehow, I kept getting back up – finding it increasingly grueling each time though. There have been definite moments that I didn’t know how or if I would get back up. But I did and kept going trying one way or another to see at least some good . . . except there was always the lingering black cloud. When I say 2020 is not just a new year but a new decade – you can’t even begin to imagine what I mean . . . or just maybe you can.
Something has switched in my soul. The only answer is The Lord. I don’t push my beliefs on you and don’t condemn you if you don’t believe the same. My hope is for you to feel the Peace & Love I feel. It transcends beyond all understanding. I can’t explain it. It’s a gift. I am thankful for it. While I have never been super religious or ritualistic, I have always had a deep faith in The Lord. I have cried out to Him what seems like an infinite amount of times. Then it happened . . . what is “it” you may ask? My ability to be thankful. My ability to “let go”. My ability to open my mind, heart and spirit not to those around me but to myself. I LOVE ME! Do you know why I love me? Because The Lord created me. Being a preacher’s daughter my entire life that one declaration is nothing new . . . in words. However, believing it and actually living it out is entirely different, exciting, scary and new for me. Despite all my heartaches I have been given a gift of PEACE & LOVE that rains down on me daily now. I find myself numerous times every single day saying, “Thank you, Lord, for _____!” The more I practice it the more I experience it. I have lost trust in just about everything in this world but again somehow and I cannot explain it – I continue, daily, to say to Him “Please, Lord, help me trust YOU today.”
There are so many things I want to say to you right now but as I often write . . . if I don’t stop here this blogpost would turn into a novel. So for today here is the good . . . I have been given a GIFT of PEACE & LOVE. It has been freely given to me and I have been chosen to freely give it away. It’s like a river. It runs into my heart, through my soul, and out of my spirit to YOU. Thank you for being on this journey with me. Thank you for riding this roller coaster of a life with me. I am forever grateful. Much Peace & Love Y’all! Namaste
Pardon me for the interruption of the “Girl Gang” posts – the rest are coming – BUT it has been awhile since I have done a Positive Purposeful Post. I need one! I am so busy being chased WHILE ON MY HAMSTER WHEEL that quite honestly, I haven’t had the time but more importantly the brain cells left to hardly write at all! I love writing and miss it. It’s just this roller coaster I have been on doesn’t seem to have a STOP button. (Insert mind pic of me getting thrown from the ride into a lava filled, alligator infested swamp)
For those of you who may be new to my blog or may just have missed the meaning behind my “Positive Purposeful Post”(s) here is the explanation – The founding belief of this company is to bring you inspiring positivity one breath at a time. All our products reflect this very idea. For example, our LFTG (Look For The Good) jars are filled with inspirational sayings/quotes. Each saying/quote has a crack ‘n peel backing so if you want to you can stick it on something for a positive reminder or simply throw it back in for a random draw another day. Head on over to our SHOP and purchase your very own today or bless someone else with one! WE ONLY HAVE A FEW LEFT! So, having said that, periodically I will be doing my own random draw out of my personal LFTG jar and will be posting it on here with a story that emulates that message. These will be named “Positive Purposeful Post”. Time for another one below –
“Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe in the one reason why it will.”
Again – perfect timing! So, as you readers know our life, our “situation” (which it is so annoyingly referred to on a regular basis – even by me) is difficult. Challenging. Demanding. Heavy. Painful. Emotional. Toilsome. And the list goes on . . . You wouldn’t believe all the negative words I could use to describe my journey on having a child with special needs. But who needs all the negative? Where is the positive? That is the whole reason why I began this blog. I not only wanted to help others “Look for the good . . . .” but I needed it too! I still do, probably now more than ever. But just like the quote says “ . . . believe in the one reason why it will” is how I survive. I have to constantly look for the one good thing. Just one. No matter how small. This particular saying is screaming at me so loudly today because of another big question we are being faced with currently. WHERE ARE WE GOING TO LIVE? I will stop there for today only since no one wants to read a blogpost soooooo long. If you personally know me and are freaking out about this question – yes, you will have to wait for the next post too. So, for today here is the good . . . . I had time and the heart to write today. Writing is one of the few things that really makes me happy. I am thankful. Remember . . . Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe in the one reason why it will. Much Peace and Love Y’all!
Well, it has been too long but y’all know how crazy my life is. Today I have a guest writer. Enjoy . . .
“Don’t miss out on something that could be great just because it could also be difficult.”
Many times, mainly during my years at my old high school, I was too scared to try new things or get more involved. My freshman and sophomore year were very hard and all I wanted to do was stay at home by myself. Sure, I had a lot of friends and talked to so many people at my school. But when I got out, I would not hangout with anyone (besides maybe one friend).
Many of my friends were involved in sports or clubs like Student Council. I really wanted to do that also, but I was not comfortable with myself because of the atmosphere I was in so it caused enough anxiety for me to just stay at home. All throughout my childhood I had played sports every year and was very athletic. My first year to stop doing any form of sport was my sophomore year. I began to feel bad about myself and feel fat/ lazy because I had nothing to do.
I saw the soccer and basketball girls all the time practicing and wished I had stuck with those two sports so I could play. The thing was, I wasn’t even trying to practice at home or go try out for the team. I just gave up because I thought it’d be too difficult.
Once I started going to GSSM I found who I wanted to be. I knew if I wanted to play sports – I could. I just had to BELIEVE IN MYSELF and practice. I worked hard and practiced constantly that fall and winter of my Junior year for basketball. I was on the Varsity and it was a great feeling being a part of a team again. All I had to do was put in the effort and stop being scared. I also played for their Varsity soccer team a short while before having to give it up for my schoolwork.
So, for today here is the good . . . I finally got the thought out of my head that I wasn’t good enough to play the sports I love. I hope anyone who is thinking about doing something they’ve always wanted to try, or start up again, will have the strength and courage to do so! Because remember – “Don’t miss out on something that could be great just because it could also be difficult.”
In order to succeed we must first believe that we can. Nikos Kazantzakis
Absolutely! How many times have I thought to myself – I can’t do this. I don’t understand what ‘that’ means. I don’t know what to do with ‘this’. Therefore, I just want to give up. But if we give up then that is a dream that may never be realized. I am still learning to stop, look up and listen every day. This is difficult for me because I am a planner and it is hard for me to sit still. For example, with this exciting journey of starting my own business there are definite obstacles. Most of them come in the form of technology. I swear I think little – no BIG – computerized robots on PLANET I’M SMARTER THAN YOU get together every morning before I get out of bed and come up with ways to melt my brain. I had a plan in my head of how I thought this should go and don’t you know it keeps changing. Just when I think Look for the good . . . is going to be one way a door closes in my face. I have received a message saying there was not a use for what I am selling right now. I received an e-mail letting me know my content was not rich and meaningful enough to serve targeted users. I may have been told the content of my writing isn’t going to bring the masses tons of products to try but for today here is the good . . . I absolutely believe deep in my heart I was created for something far more significant than I could ever imagine. I believe having a fighting spirit and a big mouth can bring about good things and many changes. So don’t give up. Don’t be afraid to stand still and listen. Believe in yourself. You, my friends, were created for a purpose. Peace and Love Y’all