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Dava – Girl Gang Member

Sweet yet sassy and all things Southern! She and I first met years ago at church. We were attending a small group for parents of children with special needs. She will tell you she knew she was gonna love me from her first impression of me based on the introduction of myself. I announced to the church group – of all people – “Hey, y’all, my name is Jane Hart and I do love Jesus, but I also like to cuss”. So, there you have it. Two peas in a pod. It never matters how long (or short) it’s been since we have seen each other because we always instantly carry on. We laugh and cry. She understands from deep in her soul and by living it herself why my heart is broken a little every day. We are not just mamas. We are mamas of children (my now adult one) with special needs. Our girls have nowhere near the same disability but the pain we experience is the same. We also know what it’s like to fight for our children every day. EVERY DAY! So, for today here is the good . . . I am BLESSED to call her my friend, my sister and to have her be part of my inner circle – my Girl Gang. Did I mention how beautiful and always put together she is? She is bold and courageous giving all she has to her family and friends. I am thankful. I love you, Dava! Much Peace and Love Y’all! Have a great weekend.

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Positive Purposeful Post – from the psych ward

For those of you who may be new to our blog or may just have missed the meaning behind our “Positive Purposeful Post”(s) here is the explanation – The founding belief of this company is to bring you inspiring positivity one breath at a time. All of our products are a reflection of this very idea. For example, our LFTG (Look For The Good) jars are filled with inspirational sayings/quotes. Each saying/quote has a crack ‘n peel backing so if you want to you can stick it on something for a positive reminder or simply throw it back in for a random draw another day. Head on over to our SHOP and purchase your very own today or bless someone else with one! (They come in two different sizes) So, having said that, periodically I will be doing my own random draw out of my personal LFTG jar and will be posting it on here with a story that emulates that message. These will be named “Positive Purposeful Post”. Time for another one below –

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” Albert Einstein

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha What is it I always say about these Positive Purposeful Posts? They always pertain to me and I bet they speak to most of you as well. Here at The Crazy Harts Club we have had even more than our “normal” craziness in the last few months. I know, I know I said back in September that details would be coming. It’s just how to tell it and when to tell it is complicated. I like this quote from Albert Einstein because of the truth it holds. Think about it – if you don’t keep pedaling your bicycle it will most certainly fall over. I tell people I know to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just keep moving forward. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes we aren’t sure if we really can keep moving or if we even want to! At 41 years old I have been through more than a typical person’s fair share of wicked. But don’t you worry your pretty, little minds – all of the malicious, ill-natured, and scandalous juicy details will be coming out in my second book The Preacher’s Daughter. For now, I give you pieces of my present reality and show you how I continue to Look for the good . . . even when it seems there is none! There are days that I don’t feel like looking myself even though I know I could find some good . . . so I go to my dearest friends and they always help me come up with something. As I mentioned in my blogpost yesterday, my oldest daughter has been sick – we all have. It started Wednesday a week ago. I picked her up from school, took her home as usual and by the evening she had a fever. I know lots of people get fevers. Lots of people get sick. The difference for her is she has severe epilepsy so anytime she gets sick her seizures increase. The Saturday before she had eight seizures in less than 30 minutes, but we had no idea why. Of course, having a fever, I wasn’t going to send her to school on Thursday because we didn’t want anyone else to get sick. I took her to see her awesome doctor who is still peds but will see her until she is 21 (not looking forward to that change). I had nothing else to report. He checked ears, nose, throat – even had to cath her to check for a UTI. Nothing! Probably a virus we decided. On Friday, she had no fever all day until 3:23 p.m. (Yes, you know I love details!) Grayson’s nurse, Grace, arrived and I had just checked her temp again because I was leaving with my other daughter, Kloie, to go dress shopping for the Marine/Military Ball. Guess what it was . . . 104. 104!!! We put her in an almost cold bath to get it down. I set my alarm for every three hours throughout that night to alternate Motrin and Tylenol. Same thing happened during the day Saturday – no fever but she started coughing. Then later Saturday the fever came back, and we alternated those meds again. By the time Sunday rolled around, Grayson looked and sounded miserable with fever, cough, sneezing and runny nose. I had stayed in contact with her doctor’s office throughout the weekend and assumed they would just call her in some antibiotics. But no! They were afraid she might have pneumonia. You know the only way for us to find out with Grayson was to have a chest x-ray. Yep! Freakin’ emergency room here we come. Now because she is not technically pediatric anymore we have been pushed to the adult side. Nightmare! Kevin and I found the most remote part of the waiting room to sit in, so no one would get her sicker, but wouldn’t you know a whole family just had to come sit right across from us. Then, wouldn’t you know within minutes of that a whole ‘nother (that’s southern talkin’ right there) group comes up to them and begins chattin’ it up. Cousins, aunts, friends. Dang! They brought the whole street to the hospital with ’em. What is up with that? I mean they were having a hay day talking about family reunions and not liking this person or that. They were playing catch up and standing so close to Grayson’s wheelchair if they sneezed it would have rolled off away from us. Did I mention they were blocking the whole aisle to exit the emergency room? Yep! No thought for others whatsoever! Come on people! Please look around you. There was no self-awareness and that makes me insane! When we were called back to triage the nurse went through her typical line of questioning. The one that Kev and I had to keep from falling in the floor from was “Has she had any falls?” If you take one look at Grayson, you can tell she is severely handicap and does not walk. Falls? Really? Sometimes I want to respond in the most inappropriate ways, but it wouldn’t help for me to answer ignorance with even more stupidity. I grow so weary of it. Finally, off to a “room” meaning a curtain. As we were waiting and waiting, the TV is blaring and no remote control is anywhere to be found. It is also mounted so high on the wall there was no getting to it to manually turn it down. The doctor finally comes in and we give her the spiel all over again. I swear my life is on repeat. She got up to take a look at Grayson’s ears, nose, throat, etc. when she announced “Oh, yeah, I forgot there is nothing in this room to examine her with. Y’all are in the psych ward part of the ER. I’ll be right back.” That’s when I looked at Kevin and he looked at me and we laughed in hysterics. OF COURSE WE ARE IN THE PSYCH WARD! WE ARE THE CRAZY HARTS! WE COULDN’T POSSIBLY HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY! It was explained to us this was the only room/bed/curtain available at the time. I guess that would also explain the FREAKIN’ FIVE security guards positioned outside the curtain next to us. I guess it would also explain why there was no TV remote. Do people eat batteries? Y’all know this story could go on for days but I will wrap it up here. For today and for this little nugget of our life, here is the good . . . we were only in the ER for a couple of hours – instead of 8-12 hours. Grayson did not have pneumonia but bronchitis instead. She finished her antibiotics as of yesterday. She is back at school. And we are STILL putting one foot in front of the other. I hope you can do the same. Much Peace and Love Y’all!

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Mama’s Day

I really hope I don’t miss anyone as I am writing this. I want to take this time to acknowledge those ladies that were in my life and/or are in my life that have been a wonderful example of a mother to me. I wish I could write all the amazing things about them but I am afraid this post would never end! So here are the little blurbs about them –

Mama – Most importantly is my very own Mama. She brought me into this world and loved me for only a short time before she was killed when I was nine years old. But she loved me well and even though I don’t really remember her, I love hearing stories from those that knew her. She was beautiful – inside and out. She was always thinking of others. Two things I always treasure hearing about her is – 1. If you walked into her kitchen, opened the fridge and saw hardly anything, she could take those few things and make a gourmet meal out of them. She didn’t panic or get frustrated. She lived in the moment. So much so it brings me to 2. She could be in the middle of cooking supper and would see a beautiful sunset or a rose blooming and outside she would go. She would just stop what she was doing and paint the Good Lord’s beauty in nature. Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven, Mama!

Camille – one of Grayson’s home nurses who would listen endlessly to me about some of my most difficult days in life and she would offer comfort and new ways to look at the situation. Thank you, Camille! Happy Mother’s Day!

“Chrisma” – one of Grayson’s home nurses who guided me in my young mothering days. Thank you, “Chrisma”! Happy Mother’s Day!

Cathy Bell & Gail King – two ladies in the church I grew up in that kept my sister and I a lot after mama died while my daddy was marrying or burying someone, blessing or forgiving someone. Cathy is now in Heaven with my mama. Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven, Cathy! Happy Mother’s Day, Gail!

Susie – like a mother to me and a Mamaw to both my girls. Susie was always helping me take care of Grayson before I met Kevin. She taught me how to craft things and most fun of all was being her assistant in weddings doing floral arrangements. She taught me so much!

Marg – my oldest sister. It is painful to write about her right now as my feelings are still extremely hurt by my family. However, the truth is still the truth . . . Marg guided me through my very first pregnancy and was in the delivery room helping to hold my legs and tell me to breathe while I was giving birth. She allowed me to interrupt her life by living with her (it wasn’t my choice and it was forced on her) in my late teens. She helped get me started with kitchen and bedroom stuff in my first apartment. She made sure Grayson always had a place at the table. She wasn’t afraid to feed Grayson. She helped lift Grayson and change her diaper. The greatest of Marg is how she put her bathing suit on (this happened more than once), put a cooler in the shower, sat down on it, reached out for Grayson and held the squirming alligator child while I bathed her. My sister used to be ALL IN not just for me but for my Grayson and my Kloie too. I just don’t know what happened . . . but I wish her a Happy Mother’s Day!

Nancy – my awesome neighbor who is definitely like a mama to me and a grandmama to my girls. She takes care of Kevin too! I have been known to call Nancy before 911 in an emergency. Yep, that’s how much trust I have in her. She has been and still is a friend, a mama, a grandmama, a neighbor, a counselor, my cheerleader, a teacher and well, the list goes on. One thing she is great at is coming up with “Nancyisms”. Funny stories Happy Mother’s Day, Nancy!

Terrie – and this one. Oh what can I say about Terrie aka Mama 2? She was my neighbor when I was in elementary school so I knew her before my mama died. When my mama was killed and my Southern Baptist Preacher Daddy was gone constantly, Terrie would come over in the middle of the night to stay with my sister, Amey, and me even though she had her own husband and two little ones at home. I would eat supper over there as much as I was allowed (by my daddy not her. She loved having me over.) Our choices were frozen pizza or cereal! What the heck? A kids dream! She would French braid my hair super early before school. I would walk across the street and live in her presence as much as I could because I knew she loved me. There was always something going on at her house so I didn’t feel as lonely. All the neighborhood kids played over there. She moved away when I was in high school. Our relationship didn’t end there. We have been in touch over the years and at one point in my late teens/perhaps early 20’s (BRAIN BLOCK) she was going to let me live with her. I still love her as much as I always have! Happy Mother’s Day, Mama 2!

So, for today here is the good . . . Happy Mother’s Day to ALL! I don’t care how you became a mama or who/what you are a mama to (our dogs are children too) but I hope there is Much Peace and Love Y’all! Have a great weekend!