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I DID IT!!!

 

So, this happened . . .

P.S. The glitter star stickers are on my certificate because I always teased our teacher, “Brine”, that what I wanted for graduation was a glitter sticker. Thanks, Brian ;~}

I am super proud of myself which never comes out of my mouth BUT yoga has taught me so much and I will forever be grateful, and forever be learning. Yoga isn’t a one-time thing or a destination to be arrived at quickly. It is a continuous, beautiful, freeing journey for your mind, body and spirit. You continue to add on to your practice (the actual poses), you continue to deepen your breathing for relaxation, you continue to focus in your meditation and the benefits continue to grow with you for as long as you practice throughout your life. For this, I am thankful, and I am super excited that I can now TEACH yoga! Of course, I have taught a little bit to some family and friends. Ha, ha . . . thank you for being my guinea pigs. Y’all are great! I also wanted to let you know I will be blogging about some misconceptions of yoga. Please be sure and read them as I know at least one if not many or all reasons have crossed your mind as to why you think YOU could NEVER do yoga.

But for today here is the good . . . I graduated something! Most of you don’t know the backstory to that. Many challenging situations have always been barriers to my completion of a lot of things. But I am so happy and proud to shout from the top of my yogi, glitter-spewing unicorn . . . I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT! All the glory goes to The Lord who has had tremendous grace on me for 43 years. A big thank you to my husband, Kevin, who has taken on a lot more when I had long weekends of Yoga Teacher Training and for his newfound support of me . . . this I treasure. I am thankful to each one of my daughters, Grayson and Kloie, who have been through a lot due to the pain of my being so sick. They have sacrificed me being present at times. I am beyond blessed by them! I am thankful for our nurse, Grace, who has also seen a lot and been through a lot yet supported me a lot. Every time I talk about her to other people, I always describe her as one of my other children and also my right hand because truly there are many things I could not have done without her these last six years. If you live in the Crazy Harts Club (which Grace basically does) then you have the “luxury” of experiencing anything from A to Z.

So be on the lookout for the next blog about yoga. I’ll pick a misconception and tell you the truth about it. Also feel free to send me any comments or questions you may have about yoga. Until then have a Sweet Sunday evening. Much Peace and Love Y’all! Namaste 

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Positive Purposeful Post – from the psych ward

For those of you who may be new to our blog or may just have missed the meaning behind our “Positive Purposeful Post”(s) here is the explanation – The founding belief of this company is to bring you inspiring positivity one breath at a time. All of our products are a reflection of this very idea. For example, our LFTG (Look For The Good) jars are filled with inspirational sayings/quotes. Each saying/quote has a crack ‘n peel backing so if you want to you can stick it on something for a positive reminder or simply throw it back in for a random draw another day. Head on over to our SHOP and purchase your very own today or bless someone else with one! (They come in two different sizes) So, having said that, periodically I will be doing my own random draw out of my personal LFTG jar and will be posting it on here with a story that emulates that message. These will be named “Positive Purposeful Post”. Time for another one below –

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” Albert Einstein

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha What is it I always say about these Positive Purposeful Posts? They always pertain to me and I bet they speak to most of you as well. Here at The Crazy Harts Club we have had even more than our “normal” craziness in the last few months. I know, I know I said back in September that details would be coming. It’s just how to tell it and when to tell it is complicated. I like this quote from Albert Einstein because of the truth it holds. Think about it – if you don’t keep pedaling your bicycle it will most certainly fall over. I tell people I know to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just keep moving forward. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes we aren’t sure if we really can keep moving or if we even want to! At 41 years old I have been through more than a typical person’s fair share of wicked. But don’t you worry your pretty, little minds – all of the malicious, ill-natured, and scandalous juicy details will be coming out in my second book The Preacher’s Daughter. For now, I give you pieces of my present reality and show you how I continue to Look for the good . . . even when it seems there is none! There are days that I don’t feel like looking myself even though I know I could find some good . . . so I go to my dearest friends and they always help me come up with something. As I mentioned in my blogpost yesterday, my oldest daughter has been sick – we all have. It started Wednesday a week ago. I picked her up from school, took her home as usual and by the evening she had a fever. I know lots of people get fevers. Lots of people get sick. The difference for her is she has severe epilepsy so anytime she gets sick her seizures increase. The Saturday before she had eight seizures in less than 30 minutes, but we had no idea why. Of course, having a fever, I wasn’t going to send her to school on Thursday because we didn’t want anyone else to get sick. I took her to see her awesome doctor who is still peds but will see her until she is 21 (not looking forward to that change). I had nothing else to report. He checked ears, nose, throat – even had to cath her to check for a UTI. Nothing! Probably a virus we decided. On Friday, she had no fever all day until 3:23 p.m. (Yes, you know I love details!) Grayson’s nurse, Grace, arrived and I had just checked her temp again because I was leaving with my other daughter, Kloie, to go dress shopping for the Marine/Military Ball. Guess what it was . . . 104. 104!!! We put her in an almost cold bath to get it down. I set my alarm for every three hours throughout that night to alternate Motrin and Tylenol. Same thing happened during the day Saturday – no fever but she started coughing. Then later Saturday the fever came back, and we alternated those meds again. By the time Sunday rolled around, Grayson looked and sounded miserable with fever, cough, sneezing and runny nose. I had stayed in contact with her doctor’s office throughout the weekend and assumed they would just call her in some antibiotics. But no! They were afraid she might have pneumonia. You know the only way for us to find out with Grayson was to have a chest x-ray. Yep! Freakin’ emergency room here we come. Now because she is not technically pediatric anymore we have been pushed to the adult side. Nightmare! Kevin and I found the most remote part of the waiting room to sit in, so no one would get her sicker, but wouldn’t you know a whole family just had to come sit right across from us. Then, wouldn’t you know within minutes of that a whole ‘nother (that’s southern talkin’ right there) group comes up to them and begins chattin’ it up. Cousins, aunts, friends. Dang! They brought the whole street to the hospital with ’em. What is up with that? I mean they were having a hay day talking about family reunions and not liking this person or that. They were playing catch up and standing so close to Grayson’s wheelchair if they sneezed it would have rolled off away from us. Did I mention they were blocking the whole aisle to exit the emergency room? Yep! No thought for others whatsoever! Come on people! Please look around you. There was no self-awareness and that makes me insane! When we were called back to triage the nurse went through her typical line of questioning. The one that Kev and I had to keep from falling in the floor from was “Has she had any falls?” If you take one look at Grayson, you can tell she is severely handicap and does not walk. Falls? Really? Sometimes I want to respond in the most inappropriate ways, but it wouldn’t help for me to answer ignorance with even more stupidity. I grow so weary of it. Finally, off to a “room” meaning a curtain. As we were waiting and waiting, the TV is blaring and no remote control is anywhere to be found. It is also mounted so high on the wall there was no getting to it to manually turn it down. The doctor finally comes in and we give her the spiel all over again. I swear my life is on repeat. She got up to take a look at Grayson’s ears, nose, throat, etc. when she announced “Oh, yeah, I forgot there is nothing in this room to examine her with. Y’all are in the psych ward part of the ER. I’ll be right back.” That’s when I looked at Kevin and he looked at me and we laughed in hysterics. OF COURSE WE ARE IN THE PSYCH WARD! WE ARE THE CRAZY HARTS! WE COULDN’T POSSIBLY HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY! It was explained to us this was the only room/bed/curtain available at the time. I guess that would also explain the FREAKIN’ FIVE security guards positioned outside the curtain next to us. I guess it would also explain why there was no TV remote. Do people eat batteries? Y’all know this story could go on for days but I will wrap it up here. For today and for this little nugget of our life, here is the good . . . we were only in the ER for a couple of hours – instead of 8-12 hours. Grayson did not have pneumonia but bronchitis instead. She finished her antibiotics as of yesterday. She is back at school. And we are STILL putting one foot in front of the other. I hope you can do the same. Much Peace and Love Y’all!

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Day Two

Today we slept in a little longer but not to worry my chubby thighs and jiggly booty, I went for a walk/jog after our nurse got here at lunchtime. And even though today is cooler it is still too hot in the middle of the day! I have found I am less anxious if I get it done early in the morning even though I do NOT like getting up early. Weird. I know. I ask myself am I doing what I have set out to do this summer? So, for today here is the good . . . Yes, I was very present when Grayson and I decided to finally finish organizing our kitchen cabinets after breakfast. This was all thanks to LL (Cool J that is) for keeping us moving. Oh yeah and Pandora. I did thank The Lord for blessing us with this remodeled kitchen. Then, I went on a walk/jog and did my best. It does help me relax. After washing off the sweat and sunscreen I sat down to write my first books bio for the back cover. Yep, it’s a good day. What have you done to chill today? Much Peace and Love Y’all! 

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Mama’s Day

I really hope I don’t miss anyone as I am writing this. I want to take this time to acknowledge those ladies that were in my life and/or are in my life that have been a wonderful example of a mother to me. I wish I could write all the amazing things about them but I am afraid this post would never end! So here are the little blurbs about them –

Mama – Most importantly is my very own Mama. She brought me into this world and loved me for only a short time before she was killed when I was nine years old. But she loved me well and even though I don’t really remember her, I love hearing stories from those that knew her. She was beautiful – inside and out. She was always thinking of others. Two things I always treasure hearing about her is – 1. If you walked into her kitchen, opened the fridge and saw hardly anything, she could take those few things and make a gourmet meal out of them. She didn’t panic or get frustrated. She lived in the moment. So much so it brings me to 2. She could be in the middle of cooking supper and would see a beautiful sunset or a rose blooming and outside she would go. She would just stop what she was doing and paint the Good Lord’s beauty in nature. Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven, Mama!

Camille – one of Grayson’s home nurses who would listen endlessly to me about some of my most difficult days in life and she would offer comfort and new ways to look at the situation. Thank you, Camille! Happy Mother’s Day!

“Chrisma” – one of Grayson’s home nurses who guided me in my young mothering days. Thank you, “Chrisma”! Happy Mother’s Day!

Cathy Bell & Gail King – two ladies in the church I grew up in that kept my sister and I a lot after mama died while my daddy was marrying or burying someone, blessing or forgiving someone. Cathy is now in Heaven with my mama. Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven, Cathy! Happy Mother’s Day, Gail!

Susie – like a mother to me and a Mamaw to both my girls. Susie was always helping me take care of Grayson before I met Kevin. She taught me how to craft things and most fun of all was being her assistant in weddings doing floral arrangements. She taught me so much!

Marg – my oldest sister. It is painful to write about her right now as my feelings are still extremely hurt by my family. However, the truth is still the truth . . . Marg guided me through my very first pregnancy and was in the delivery room helping to hold my legs and tell me to breathe while I was giving birth. She allowed me to interrupt her life by living with her (it wasn’t my choice and it was forced on her) in my late teens. She helped get me started with kitchen and bedroom stuff in my first apartment. She made sure Grayson always had a place at the table. She wasn’t afraid to feed Grayson. She helped lift Grayson and change her diaper. The greatest of Marg is how she put her bathing suit on (this happened more than once), put a cooler in the shower, sat down on it, reached out for Grayson and held the squirming alligator child while I bathed her. My sister used to be ALL IN not just for me but for my Grayson and my Kloie too. I just don’t know what happened . . . but I wish her a Happy Mother’s Day!

Nancy – my awesome neighbor who is definitely like a mama to me and a grandmama to my girls. She takes care of Kevin too! I have been known to call Nancy before 911 in an emergency. Yep, that’s how much trust I have in her. She has been and still is a friend, a mama, a grandmama, a neighbor, a counselor, my cheerleader, a teacher and well, the list goes on. One thing she is great at is coming up with “Nancyisms”. Funny stories Happy Mother’s Day, Nancy!

Terrie – and this one. Oh what can I say about Terrie aka Mama 2? She was my neighbor when I was in elementary school so I knew her before my mama died. When my mama was killed and my Southern Baptist Preacher Daddy was gone constantly, Terrie would come over in the middle of the night to stay with my sister, Amey, and me even though she had her own husband and two little ones at home. I would eat supper over there as much as I was allowed (by my daddy not her. She loved having me over.) Our choices were frozen pizza or cereal! What the heck? A kids dream! She would French braid my hair super early before school. I would walk across the street and live in her presence as much as I could because I knew she loved me. There was always something going on at her house so I didn’t feel as lonely. All the neighborhood kids played over there. She moved away when I was in high school. Our relationship didn’t end there. We have been in touch over the years and at one point in my late teens/perhaps early 20’s (BRAIN BLOCK) she was going to let me live with her. I still love her as much as I always have! Happy Mother’s Day, Mama 2!

So, for today here is the good . . . Happy Mother’s Day to ALL! I don’t care how you became a mama or who/what you are a mama to (our dogs are children too) but I hope there is Much Peace and Love Y’all! Have a great weekend!

 

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Asheville, Here We Come!

“Who really wants to drive over an hour, into another state just to look at “hippie” stores when we have a few right here where we live?” I asked my husband. Then moments later I answer my own question – “I do. Because just think – one day I will long to ride in the car with her for over an hour or for any amount of time but I won’t get to because she won’t be here. Oh, I just can’t believe she is going away in August!” His response, “Mmm hmm.” What can I say? I do come up with some of my deepest conversations in the bed at night when he’s trying to go to sleep. Oh well. So it was decided. Asheville, here we come!

Yesterday morning, we waited for Grayson’s nurse to arrive. Then, after I gave her the run down on what all she needed we got in the car and drove off. Yep! Drove off. Just like that. Many of you may not see this as having any importance but to me it’s of major importance and a struggle. Every time I leave Grayson behind I leave a piece of my broken heart. It’s broken because I’m not doing these things with her. Not in the way I am with Kloie. More details about that another time because you will surely read about my broken heart in abundance. But moving on – Kloie needs me and truth be told I need her. We got there around 12:30 just in time for lunch and a glass of wine – for me not her. Hey! I needed it. I feel like I’m on a hamster wheel being chased by a cat most days. We sat outside, sun shining but in the shade with the breeze blowing. We talked about how dumb guys can be, listened in to the people’s conversation next to us, laughed about how wedgies are super uncomfortable all while eating Latin American food – Kloie’s favorite. She loves all things and I mean all things, people, etc. – Hispanic! My child does have a little bit of me in her as she loves Bob Marley, hippie chill things, some “free” thinking, piercings and tattoos. Good Lord, Granddaddy, it will be okay :~} The search was on for posters to adorn her room at home and in her soon coming dorm room, as well as a huge tapestry that covers most of one of the walls in her bedroom. I just giggle to myself thinking how I was at her age. While she is a lot stronger than I was at 16, our similarities about changing rooms around, constantly moving furniture, wild decorating, and wearing different clothing that is “freeing” just makes me smile. You can never have enough Johnson I always say (Johnson is my maiden name). After being successful at shopping we finally decided we better head home as it was getting late in the afternoon. We turned the music up extremely loud and sang as if we were holding our own concert in London (or somewhere cool)! KloBo even said “Wow! We sound terrible!” as she laughed hysterically. I told her “No way! We think we sound good so then we sound good.” We continued to laugh so hard we could barely get the words out.

I will miss her like crazy and cry if I think too much about it for more than a minute but for today here is the good . . . When your uber independent, indifferent, mostly opposite of you, 16-year-old daughter says . . . “I’m not emotional, so I’m not going to get all deep. And don’t be emotional right now, Mom. I just want to say, today was one of the best days of my life” – you just smile and say “Thank you, God!”

Klobo and Me Asheville