“Always find time for the things that make you feel happy to be alive.”
You know now that I’m in my 40’s I am finding it more difficult to even remember what makes me happy to be alive. Does it have to be something grand and magnificent? I don’t think so. But maybe that’s because I am not a grand and magnificent kinda girl. I LOVE the little things. One of my sayings in life is “It’s all about the little things!” That’s the kinda girl I am. Some people don’t know how to take me. I am all kinds of deep thinker and talker; all kinds of feeling things very deeply. But I am also – it’s 6 p.m. on a Monday night cooking spaghetti while kitchen dancing with LL . . . Cool J that is for those of you who don’t know. Good gracious, bless it, LL is so awesome! Okay, squirrel, come back – back to the silly me. That’s the fun side. I am 10 o’clock at night teeth brushing, loud singing, putting on a concert Superstar Jane! I LOVE most kinds of music. Music can make you feel things deeply too. It has the power to take you to another time and place or another moment in your life.
Having all these snow days and other school holidays has really tested my mind to figure out just what things do make me happy to be alive. There really hasn’t been a chance to do much of anything else since we aren’t getting out of the house.
So, for today here is the good . . . I am going to do more of the things that make me happy to be alive. I love music! I love dancing (it’s ok that I only have ‘80’s moves)! I love to sing to the top of my lungs even if it’s terrible! I love writing! I love painting! I love yoga! Oh and I love dress up parties! What do you love? What things make you feel happy to be alive? I challenge you to begin doing at least one and you may only think of one. That’s great! Go out, do it and be happy to be alive! Much Peace and Love Y’all! P.S. If you see somebody completely rocking out in a little, white minivan it’s probably me. Just smile and wave – I’ll do it back. Or you might as well join in . . .
So Tuesday was the celebratory last day of school for my girls and of course that afternoon we had to go to Starbucks – a place we love to visit to treat ourselves. However, this celebration is costing me more than $16.63. It is costing me emotional stability. I have cried for some part of everyday for at least a week now. That morning, May 31st, 2016, as my girls and I were finishing breakfast, with tears in my eyes I said, “My gosh! Can’t y’all just go to school forever? I mean seriously! I am going to have to tell Miss Rebecca (Grayson’s teacher) that you, Grayson, are just going to keep on going to school. There is no last day. And Kloie you can’t stop either today.” Kloie responds with the 16-year-old unenthused “Why?” “Because Grayson is SUPPOSED TO BE a Senior and graduating but she isn’t and never will. She should be leaving and she isn’t and you should be staying but you’re going. I am having a really hard time looking for the good . . . right now. Okay, let’s be honest I am not really looking because I know if I looked I could find it. So, KloBo (my nickname for Kloie), I need your help.” In her true, wise beyond her years words this is what she said “Okay so first of all you should be thankful Grayson made it this far. A lot of her friends haven’t. You should also be glad that I am going to Governor’s School, getting out of my old school and away from all those mean people, and yeah you should be happy because I’m happy.” Well, what could I say except “You’re right. Thank you!”
It is true. A lot of Grayson’s friends have passed away and yes I am thankful I still have her. Writing this isn’t to make their parents feel bad because I want them to be thankful they had their children for as long as they did. I have no idea what that is like. You see Grayson does go to a public school but it is different because all students are severely handicap to where they could not be the “best they could be” if they attended a typical school. Where she attends is for ages 3 to 21. So will Grayson eventually “graduate”? Well, not really. All she will get is a certificate of completion. They don’t learn like their typical peers so they don’t get a diploma. I can’t help but think – especially this week – Grayson is eighteen and considered a Senior. She should be graduating, working, dating, going to college in the Fall but she won’t. She NEVER will. She will actually live with us forever. Yes, she will be considered a Senior for three more years until she turns 21 but then what??? As far as my KloBo is concerned – she just finished her Sophomore year in high school so I have two more years with her right? Wrong! She was accepted to the Governor’s School. She will be living there, three hours away from us at only 16 years old! I’m not ready but she has been ready. We are going to let her fly. I cannot imagine our home without her in it! So dynamics in my household will change drastically come August but for today here is the good . . . 1. I still have Grayson. 2. I am so proud of Kloie, she is super smart, and very happy about her future. 3. My wiener dog, Reesy, still loves me unconditionally and oh yeah 4. My husband is dealing with my craziness pretty well – thankful for that!
*In the pic below I’m wearing my “BE HAPPY” t-shirt not just because it’s really soft and cute but because I’m hoping the very letters imprinted on the shirt will somehow soak into my body. I’m all for tattooing :~}