Pardon me for the interruption of the “Girl Gang” posts – the rest are coming – BUT it has been awhile since I have done a Positive Purposeful Post. I need one! I am so busy being chased WHILE ON MY HAMSTER WHEEL that quite honestly, I haven’t had the time but more importantly the brain cells left to hardly write at all! I love writing and miss it. It’s just this roller coaster I have been on doesn’t seem to have a STOP button. (Insert mind pic of me getting thrown from the ride into a lava filled, alligator infested swamp)
For those of you who may be new to my blog or may just have missed the meaning behind my “Positive Purposeful Post”(s) here is the explanation – The founding belief of this company is to bring you inspiring positivity one breath at a time. All our products reflect this very idea. For example, our LFTG (Look For The Good) jars are filled with inspirational sayings/quotes. Each saying/quote has a crack ‘n peel backing so if you want to you can stick it on something for a positive reminder or simply throw it back in for a random draw another day. Head on over to our SHOP and purchase your very own today or bless someone else with one! WE ONLY HAVE A FEW LEFT! So, having said that, periodically I will be doing my own random draw out of my personal LFTG jar and will be posting it on here with a story that emulates that message. These will be named “Positive Purposeful Post”. Time for another one below –
“Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe in the one reason why it will.”
Again – perfect timing! So, as you readers know our life, our “situation” (which it is so annoyingly referred to on a regular basis – even by me) is difficult. Challenging. Demanding. Heavy. Painful. Emotional. Toilsome. And the list goes on . . . You wouldn’t believe all the negative words I could use to describe my journey on having a child with special needs. But who needs all the negative? Where is the positive? That is the whole reason why I began this blog. I not only wanted to help others “Look for the good . . . .” but I needed it too! I still do, probably now more than ever. But just like the quote says “ . . . believe in the one reason why it will” is how I survive. I have to constantly look for the one good thing. Just one. No matter how small. This particular saying is screaming at me so loudly today because of another big question we are being faced with currently. WHERE ARE WE GOING TO LIVE? I will stop there for today only since no one wants to read a blogpost soooooo long. If you personally know me and are freaking out about this question – yes, you will have to wait for the next post too. So, for today here is the good . . . . I had time and the heart to write today. Writing is one of the few things that really makes me happy. I am thankful. Remember . . . Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe in the one reason why it will. Much Peace and Love Y’all!
“Who really wants to drive over an hour, into another state just to look at “hippie” stores when we have a few right here where we live?” I asked my husband. Then moments later I answer my own question – “I do. Because just think – one day I will long to ride in the car with her for over an hour or for any amount of time but I won’t get to because she won’t be here. Oh, I just can’t believe she is going away in August!” His response, “Mmm hmm.” What can I say? I do come up with some of my deepest conversations in the bed at night when he’s trying to go to sleep. Oh well. So it was decided. Asheville, here we come!
Yesterday morning, we waited for Grayson’s nurse to arrive. Then, after I gave her the run down on what all she needed we got in the car and drove off. Yep! Drove off. Just like that. Many of you may not see this as having any importance but to me it’s of major importance and a struggle. Every time I leave Grayson behind I leave a piece of my broken heart. It’s broken because I’m not doing these things with her. Not in the way I am with Kloie. More details about that another time because you will surely read about my broken heart in abundance. But moving on – Kloie needs me and truth be told I need her. We got there around 12:30 just in time for lunch and a glass of wine – for me not her. Hey! I needed it. I feel like I’m on a hamster wheel being chased by a cat most days. We sat outside, sun shining but in the shade with the breeze blowing. We talked about how dumb guys can be, listened in to the people’s conversation next to us, laughed about how wedgies are super uncomfortable all while eating Latin American food – Kloie’s favorite. She loves all things and I mean all things, people, etc. – Hispanic! My child does have a little bit of me in her as she loves Bob Marley, hippie chill things, some “free” thinking, piercings and tattoos. Good Lord, Granddaddy, it will be okay :~} The search was on for posters to adorn her room at home and in her soon coming dorm room, as well as a huge tapestry that covers most of one of the walls in her bedroom. I just giggle to myself thinking how I was at her age. While she is a lot stronger than I was at 16, our similarities about changing rooms around, constantly moving furniture, wild decorating, and wearing different clothing that is “freeing” just makes me smile. You can never have enough Johnson I always say (Johnson is my maiden name). After being successful at shopping we finally decided we better head home as it was getting late in the afternoon. We turned the music up extremely loud and sang as if we were holding our own concert in London (or somewhere cool)! KloBo even said “Wow! We sound terrible!” as she laughed hysterically. I told her “No way! We think we sound good so then we sound good.” We continued to laugh so hard we could barely get the words out.
I will miss her like crazy and cry if I think too much about it for more than a minute but for today here is the good . . . When your uber independent, indifferent, mostly opposite of you, 16-year-old daughter says . . . “I’m not emotional, so I’m not going to get all deep. And don’t be emotional right now, Mom. I just want to say, today was one of the best days of my life” – you just smile and say “Thank you, God!”