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Honeybun

My heart is frowning a bit today. I drove by Starbucks, which is Kloie and my hangout, and of course my Pandora starts playing Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds”. Uggh! Really? Two of the major things that she loves. I miss my Honeybun. She has been gone almost three weeks now. Moving our 16-year-old daughter three hours away has not been easy. However, I have done very well if I do say so myself. I have not completely lost it. Not even once. Okay maybe close to that but that was only because of the letter she wrote me. She wrote Kevin, me, and her sister letters. The Friday morning we took her off to school she decided to leave them on my dresser. Later that day as we were driving away from the campus she texts us to let her know when we had read the letters. Of course we got home late but were anxious to see what she said. Kev and I each read ours separately. I won’t tell you exactly what she wrote as that is very private but I can only say WOW! WE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING RIGHT! Actually, it is The Lord Himself that made her so wonderful! We are just the lucky ones who get to claim her. She is very mature for her age when it comes to some things. She wants me to take care of myself, expressed her true thankfulness, and requested we keep God at the center of our lives. I have gotten teary-eyed several times but today is proving to be more difficult. I walk into her room sometimes and just stand there for a few minutes. I miss her late night singing concerts in the bathroom as she is washing her face. I miss her selfies she leaves me to find on my phone. I miss her saying “Moooooooom!”

But for today here is the good . . . I get to work from home while enjoying my Tall, Caramel Frappuccino and remember the good talks we have had at Starbucks. And I am SUPER THANKFUL for the pic she sent her daddy last night of her beautiful face and dread head ;-}

*Kloie always takes pics of our Starbucks so I had to do the same

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Asheville, Here We Come!

“Who really wants to drive over an hour, into another state just to look at “hippie” stores when we have a few right here where we live?” I asked my husband. Then moments later I answer my own question – “I do. Because just think – one day I will long to ride in the car with her for over an hour or for any amount of time but I won’t get to because she won’t be here. Oh, I just can’t believe she is going away in August!” His response, “Mmm hmm.” What can I say? I do come up with some of my deepest conversations in the bed at night when he’s trying to go to sleep. Oh well. So it was decided. Asheville, here we come!

Yesterday morning, we waited for Grayson’s nurse to arrive. Then, after I gave her the run down on what all she needed we got in the car and drove off. Yep! Drove off. Just like that. Many of you may not see this as having any importance but to me it’s of major importance and a struggle. Every time I leave Grayson behind I leave a piece of my broken heart. It’s broken because I’m not doing these things with her. Not in the way I am with Kloie. More details about that another time because you will surely read about my broken heart in abundance. But moving on – Kloie needs me and truth be told I need her. We got there around 12:30 just in time for lunch and a glass of wine – for me not her. Hey! I needed it. I feel like I’m on a hamster wheel being chased by a cat most days. We sat outside, sun shining but in the shade with the breeze blowing. We talked about how dumb guys can be, listened in to the people’s conversation next to us, laughed about how wedgies are super uncomfortable all while eating Latin American food – Kloie’s favorite. She loves all things and I mean all things, people, etc. – Hispanic! My child does have a little bit of me in her as she loves Bob Marley, hippie chill things, some “free” thinking, piercings and tattoos. Good Lord, Granddaddy, it will be okay :~} The search was on for posters to adorn her room at home and in her soon coming dorm room, as well as a huge tapestry that covers most of one of the walls in her bedroom. I just giggle to myself thinking how I was at her age. While she is a lot stronger than I was at 16, our similarities about changing rooms around, constantly moving furniture, wild decorating, and wearing different clothing that is “freeing” just makes me smile. You can never have enough Johnson I always say (Johnson is my maiden name). After being successful at shopping we finally decided we better head home as it was getting late in the afternoon. We turned the music up extremely loud and sang as if we were holding our own concert in London (or somewhere cool)! KloBo even said “Wow! We sound terrible!” as she laughed hysterically. I told her “No way! We think we sound good so then we sound good.” We continued to laugh so hard we could barely get the words out.

I will miss her like crazy and cry if I think too much about it for more than a minute but for today here is the good . . . When your uber independent, indifferent, mostly opposite of you, 16-year-old daughter says . . . “I’m not emotional, so I’m not going to get all deep. And don’t be emotional right now, Mom. I just want to say, today was one of the best days of my life” – you just smile and say “Thank you, God!”

Klobo and Me Asheville