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New Year, New You – Wait . . . what’s wrong with the old me?

Happy New Year! Right? That’s what we are supposed to say, and I do think we generally mean it. I don’t really want others to have a bad year and speaking of bad years – I have had a lot of them. Half of 2016 and most of 2017 seemed like I was thrown out of a plane, on numerous occasions, with no parachute (I guess my anxiety was keeping me in the air like a little cloud of chaos), only to fall in a desolate land where bombs are continuously dropped on my head! Yep, that sounds about right. It took a toll on me mentally, emotionally, and physically – even socially and spiritually. I know I don’t like to show it on the outside to most people which leaves my poor family and few, very close friends to have to deal with it. However, some may argue I do wear my heart on my sleeve and my emotions are usually on display (here’s to you sweet friend, Susie R.). But I’m talking about the deep, dark, black hole. Maybe that’s another story for another time . . .

My point in all this is to show others how to Look for the good . . . in every situation. That is why I have promised to always give you the good . . . at the end of every blogpost. So, here I am circling back around – thank you, ADHD – to share with you just how perfectly imperfect I am. I have been depressed and anxiety runs through my veins like my blood – continuously. The very things I enjoy, such as writing, have been difficult to do lately. We don’t like to talk about these things, but I feel like me sharing my “bag of Skittles” life will hopefully help keep someone else from drowning.

So, for today, here is the good . . . I am forgiving myself for not being perfect. After all, there is no such thing as perfect. Forgiving myself for not keeping up with my blog as often as I would like because my mind won’t let me. Forgiving myself for not eating as healthy as I should and for not exercising. I am going to learn to love myself. I have a serious physical self-esteem problem. Those of you that know me have heard about it ad nauseum. Instead of worrying so much about my legs having cellulite – I am going to be thankful I can use my legs. I have a daughter who can’t. I am going to love my curves instead of wishing I were skinny. I am going to celebrate the good things about myself and work on the things I can, but again forgive myself when I JUST CAN’T ________ (fill in the blank). I am going to learn that what others think of me isn’t necessarily the truth and even if it is what’s wrong with that? I know someone out there loves my colorful mouth, outrageously, silly personality, fiery attitude, chaotic, ADHD mind and animated existence. THIS IS ME – PERFECTLY IMPERFECT! Much Peace and Love Y’all!

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