“Who really wants to drive over an hour, into another state just to look at “hippie” stores when we have a few right here where we live?” I asked my husband. Then moments later I answer my own question – “I do. Because just think – one day I will long to ride in the car with her for over an hour or for any amount of time but I won’t get to because she won’t be here. Oh, I just can’t believe she is going away in August!” His response, “Mmm hmm.” What can I say? I do come up with some of my deepest conversations in the bed at night when he’s trying to go to sleep. Oh well. So it was decided. Asheville, here we come!
Yesterday morning, we waited for Grayson’s nurse to arrive. Then, after I gave her the run down on what all she needed we got in the car and drove off. Yep! Drove off. Just like that. Many of you may not see this as having any importance but to me it’s of major importance and a struggle. Every time I leave Grayson behind I leave a piece of my broken heart. It’s broken because I’m not doing these things with her. Not in the way I am with Kloie. More details about that another time because you will surely read about my broken heart in abundance. But moving on – Kloie needs me and truth be told I need her. We got there around 12:30 just in time for lunch and a glass of wine – for me not her. Hey! I needed it. I feel like I’m on a hamster wheel being chased by a cat most days. We sat outside, sun shining but in the shade with the breeze blowing. We talked about how dumb guys can be, listened in to the people’s conversation next to us, laughed about how wedgies are super uncomfortable all while eating Latin American food – Kloie’s favorite. She loves all things and I mean all things, people, etc. – Hispanic! My child does have a little bit of me in her as she loves Bob Marley, hippie chill things, some “free” thinking, piercings and tattoos. Good Lord, Granddaddy, it will be okay :~} The search was on for posters to adorn her room at home and in her soon coming dorm room, as well as a huge tapestry that covers most of one of the walls in her bedroom. I just giggle to myself thinking how I was at her age. While she is a lot stronger than I was at 16, our similarities about changing rooms around, constantly moving furniture, wild decorating, and wearing different clothing that is “freeing” just makes me smile. You can never have enough Johnson I always say (Johnson is my maiden name). After being successful at shopping we finally decided we better head home as it was getting late in the afternoon. We turned the music up extremely loud and sang as if we were holding our own concert in London (or somewhere cool)! KloBo even said “Wow! We sound terrible!” as she laughed hysterically. I told her “No way! We think we sound good so then we sound good.” We continued to laugh so hard we could barely get the words out.
I will miss her like crazy and cry if I think too much about it for more than a minute but for today here is the good . . . When your uber independent, indifferent, mostly opposite of you, 16-year-old daughter says . . . “I’m not emotional, so I’m not going to get all deep. And don’t be emotional right now, Mom. I just want to say, today was one of the best days of my life” – you just smile and say “Thank you, God!”